You Don't Get That

I watched MTV's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew over the weekend. During a session, one of his patients was going on and on about the love, affection, time and attention he didn't get from his now deceased father as a child. He was crying, complaining, blaming, venting when Dr. Drew interrupted and simply said "You don't get that." I was stunned. He (the patient), like me, stopped and stared. It sort of jolted him into reality. "You don't get that." All the time and energy he had been spending being angry and resentful about a past that could never be changed seemed futile. He was sure his drug and food abuse was his father’s fault but in an instant it looked as if he was hit with PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY as his face dried up and his color returned. Dr. Drew didn’t add some lengthy explanation. Just the statement. And the session ended shortly thereafter.

I thought WOW, what a powerful truth! "You don't get that." His father was gone. And there was no way for the patient to hear the apology he wanted to validate the hurt, disappointment and pain he was experiencing. I hate to sound morbid but it was as if he was wasting his life away on a dead person. The thought made me think of my own life. Who or what am I wasting my life on?

Since we can only control ourselves and we have no say in what another person admits to or not we might as well let it go and move on. Sure, it would be great to get that sort of validation but the future is still coming and waiting on us to live it regardless. We can live it looking backward or looking forward. Accepting that there are some things we just might not get is not the end of the world, just a reality. And living in reality, the here & now, is a whole lot more productive and satisfying. Thanks Dr. Drew!!