How To Love by Dr. Gordon Livingston

In "How To Love", Dr. Gordon Livingston digs deep and challenges readers to assess their choices in how and whom to love, placing the responsibiltiy of succesful or failed relationships on the individual choosing to love.

It begins with "first deserve, then desire", a thought that requires each of us who wants to love to first be lovable.  It's an easy yet gut wrenching read when you realize that the immature, anxiety prone "jerk" in the relationship just might be YOU.  But it also comforts the broken-hearted while teaching the newly loving person that it's ok to love all the way.  By pointing out the less desireable personalities traits to avoid and the personality traits to look for when choosing whom we will love, loving well looks within reach.

You can skim through "How To Love" on Google Books.

The Best Year of Your Life: Dream It, Plan It, Live It by Debbie Ford

Love love love this book!! 

Simple. To the point. Challenging. 

What got me to even thumb through the book was the "Plan It" part of the title.  Sure I have dreams that I would love to live, don't we all?  So make it happen...have a plan not just some jack-and-the-beanstalk hope based on fantasy.  A great life takes WORK (beginning within ourselves) to see it happen. 

Debbie Ford walks you through realizing your hearts intent, exposing fantasies so that you can actually live in REALITY.  I promise it's worth the penny (in my opinion). 

Still not convinced? Here's a great interview you can check out before buying the book. 

"In any given moment you’re guided by one of two maps — a vision map, which is a deliberate plan for your future, or a default map,which is made up of your past." - Debbie Ford 

Learn. Grow. Live.

Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Looking for information on gaining control in your life without trying to control others??  Here's a great resource!!

I must say this first: It's no secret that I was a religious fanatic for a myriad of reasons of which I plan to write more about  in detail pretty soon.  That extreme belief system led me down a path of rigidity, control, rules and coldness.  I was so focused on the supposed godly "rights" and "wrongs" that I often missed out on fun, intimacy, connection and simple love.  I've since left that world behind.

But as I first began to come out of that mindset I started to read everything I could get my hands on,beginning with Christian authors I could identify with. Boundaries was one of those books that I studied, not just read.  It's dog-eared, highlighted and inked like nobody's business.  It felt like a kind friend was teaching me how to maintain my personal values while learning to love others who thought differently.  It put an end to me trying to convert and change everybody.  What I truly valued became much simpler (less rules).  I became a more authentic person, with  the ability to love others in their authenticity. 

SIDE NOTE: Although the authors are both clinical psychologists, they do use biblical references.  For that reason I highly recommend it for those that are caught between what they feel "God says" and the obvious, undeniable, can no longer ignore or pray away, BLARING failures they see in their lives and relationships.  Those that are secretly asking the forbidden question, "I'm doing the Word, God, why isn't it working?"  This book really helps bridge the gaps.

Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

Here's a little treasure I stumbled across while doing some research on "femininity".  This book supposedly consists of tidbits from women of the 20s as well as it's author Helen Andelin who wrote it in the 50s.  It's very OLD SCHOOL but priceless.  I must admit that there are parts that made me cringe but at the same time, because I believe at the core of our humanity men are men and women are women, our basic relational desires don't change. 

The author expounds on the beauty and feminine power that women possess and how much men admire, need and cling to it.  

WARNING: Extreme feminists might find it offensive but hey, chew the meat and spit out the bone.  I'm sure there's something in it every woman can use.

Millionaire....

Just downloaded the audio book for The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko.  I remember it hitting the scene a while back but never got into it.  I admit I was skeptical because I'm not interested in any get rich quick schemes or metaphysical manifestations of money appearing out of nowhere.  However, when I've judged something without real knowledge about it I can admit when I'm wrong.  And I was wrong! 

This book is really interesting.  It points out the practical sides of building wealth ya know; hard work, budgeting, patience, changing your habits.  And it also exposes the fake "rich" that are flashy hyper consumers who care more about "looking" rich than being wealthy.  The authors go on to say that in their search for millionaires to study they were surprised at the number of wealthy people who lived in normal neighborhoods, drove normal cars, had normal jobs etc.  They give tons of  examples like a couple that made less than $80K a year having a net work more than a person that made upwards of $200K a year.  It's a great look into America's wealthy as well as a good kick in the butt for anyone serious about their financial future.  

Personally it's reminding me to make power choices regarding spending, saving, investing and to question why I want some of the things I want (like a new pair of boots).  I want financial freedom more than new shoes so I had better make power choices that support that goal, ey?