My Girls!

Just wrapped up another 9-week session for Girls Inc.  This time I worked with a group of 5th graders that participated last year for a different program.  I'm in love with them!! It was so cool to come back and see their growth.  They remembered a lot of what we discussed last year and it made this segment much easier to facilitate.  They are sponges, soaking it all up!

Sometimes I think I learn more from them than they did from me.  Kids are the greatest teachers!! 

But here are a few tidbits I wanted to share with parents/guardians (most of which you already know...I hope):

• They know more (or are at least curious) about more than you think.
• They talk to non-parents about stuff they think they're parents will disapprove of.
• Boys, sex, periods, bras, homosexuality are top subjects of interest.
• Your adult issues causes them great stress, yes "STRESS" is the word they used (parents fighting, jail, financial struggles, moving, divorce, death, more kids added to the family etc)

I urge parents/guardians to talk openly about these subjects.  Begin as early as possible because kids are TALKING and CURIOUS! (Not that they are actually doing anything.) Take away the taboo and fear. Equip them as needed so that the real world isn't such a shock to them.  Regardless of how much we hope to protect them they WILL encounter these subjects.  Better that they are EMPOWERED!

Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Looking for information on gaining control in your life without trying to control others??  Here's a great resource!!

I must say this first: It's no secret that I was a religious fanatic for a myriad of reasons of which I plan to write more about  in detail pretty soon.  That extreme belief system led me down a path of rigidity, control, rules and coldness.  I was so focused on the supposed godly "rights" and "wrongs" that I often missed out on fun, intimacy, connection and simple love.  I've since left that world behind.

But as I first began to come out of that mindset I started to read everything I could get my hands on,beginning with Christian authors I could identify with. Boundaries was one of those books that I studied, not just read.  It's dog-eared, highlighted and inked like nobody's business.  It felt like a kind friend was teaching me how to maintain my personal values while learning to love others who thought differently.  It put an end to me trying to convert and change everybody.  What I truly valued became much simpler (less rules).  I became a more authentic person, with  the ability to love others in their authenticity. 

SIDE NOTE: Although the authors are both clinical psychologists, they do use biblical references.  For that reason I highly recommend it for those that are caught between what they feel "God says" and the obvious, undeniable, can no longer ignore or pray away, BLARING failures they see in their lives and relationships.  Those that are secretly asking the forbidden question, "I'm doing the Word, God, why isn't it working?"  This book really helps bridge the gaps.

Kashi: Lean Machine Crunch Factor

Love this stuff!

Kashi Go Lean Original has been my breakfast/snack choice lately.  Dry, no milk.  It serves two purposes:

1. It's LEAN and packed with goodies, especially PROTEIN (13g) which I'm always looking for.

2. It satisfies my need for CRUNCH!  Instead of popcorn, my other snack favorite, and the evil POTATO CHIP, I pull out a zip baggie to munch on.

YUM!

Uprooted: Part 2

Remember my friend, the Tree, from my Uprooted post?  Here's what's left as of yesterday. 

That sweet baby has been chopped away.  I called the park and inquired about its "top" parts.  The woman on the phone probably thought I was a tree hugger (mmm, maybe I am in some ways...GO EARTH!) and responded with kindness and patience.  She was unsure about the exact "afterlife" of my friend but said it was probably used for mulch in the park.  She added that due to the recent storms the park had lost several trees.

Hmmm.  I'm not sure what else to say.  I just feel a connection to this tree and the lesson it gave me.  It had been at the entrance to the park that I've used over the past couple of years and now it's gone.  Change is good, neccessary and vital for new things to happen.  But letting go is hard.  

Now I'm looking out the window and watching other trees, appreciating the gifts they are.  Choosing in this moment to celebrate and appreciate life while I have it; people, animals, relationships, nature, experiences, a deep breath...anything that represents "life" to me. 

I etch in my heart and mind life's beauty, touch, scent, sound and presence... Selah.

Spreadsheets

Ever want to be somewhere else or doing something soooo bad that where you are now irritates the hell out of you???  Geesh!  I felt that life sucking feeling trying to creep up on me today.  I had a meeting that I was NOT looking forward to, didn't feel like analyzing another spreadsheet full of numbers and talking about it.  In my head I was thinking about my future full-time career; assisting clients, writing books, speaking, traveling, a family....  Tomorrow looked so much better than today's meeting. 

Then I thought about how much energy I was wasting dreading my responsibilities.  Dag-gone-it! I spent about 10 minutes of my precious life, irritated with my life.  Silly. Super counterproductive.  I mean "frustrating" is normal and human, but I'd rather move on.  So I did.  I prepped for my meeting, got everything as organized as possible and did what I had to do. It was sweatless.  Actually learned a lot too.  Plus I really like my current job, my coworkers and...yes...I love spreadsheets, queries and reporting! (Not to mention paying my bills, food in the fridge, a car, savings, giving, clothes, SHOES!) :)  Guess I was having a moment.

So today's reflection:  Do what you have to do now...embrace it.  It's just life.  Be thankful for NOW.  But keep planning, and prepping for those dreams, goals, hopes that are on the horizon.  Can't get there any other way but one day at a time anyway.  Uh oh, I think I just GREW!! Yippie!

live, love, teach, learn, give, grow, ENJOY!

Puerto Rico!!



La Mina Falls - Yunque Rain Forest - Puerto Rico



So in a matter of about 45 min I decided to take a trip to Puerto Rico.  It was sooo unlike me....wait.  It was like me in my fancy free 20s (wrote that off as youth), then religion and "lame-ness" entered and I became rigid and fearful (wrote that off as ignorance and foolishness), but now I'm a free bird purposed to live my life to the fullest!!  I'd talked about going to PR for about 3 months but could not get any of my friends to go.  Then two things happend...in this order: 1- met someone who said they travel the world; sometimes with friends, sometimes with strangers, sometimes alone but refuses to wait on anyone and encouraged me to do the same.  2- I received an invitation from a new friend to go to PR.  A risk because having the right travel partner is KEY!  Right?  But I stopped thinking and said YES!

Super glad I went.  It was beautiful. Saw a lot. Learned a lot. Thought a lot.  Listend a lot. Watched a lot. Realized a WHOLE lot.  Here are a few thoughts:

1. Stop waiting on someone else to do what you want to do or need to do.

2. Being safe & frugal doesn't mean sitting at home wishing (learned that lesson a long time ago but it was reiterated)

3. Raw nature has to be some sort of heaven.  Amazing beauty.

4. Seeing the world is a plane ride away!! Go see it!! (not that PR was far or the only place I've ever been, but it gave me new momentum)

5. Say YES to ME!

6. I can enjoy myself regardless of who I'm with or where I am because I CHOOSE HAPPY!

7. Crying about what could have been is a waste time and energy, being stagnant waiting on tomorrow to make you happy is silly....but living RIGHT NOW, TODAY is REAL, DOABLE and AVAILABLE for the taking!!    

Just thought I'd share. 

live, love & grow

Uprooted

I spent quite a bit of time outside this weekend.  But was floored as soon as I walked through the gates of a park and was greeted by this beautiful scene...an uprooted tree.  Why beautiful?  Because it seemed to speak to me.  It spoke about me. I just stood there. Staring.  Thinking.  I wanted to sit in the grass and watch....until Honey (my dog) took a potty and I thought about all the other dogs that probably did the same.  Eeeeek!  So I stood. 

The tree was beautiful to me.  It reminded me of my own life over the past seven years.  Talk about uprooted.  Death, divorce, financial instability, religious upheaval, fear.  My heart was broken on so many levels. Everything that was foundational for me was questioned, examined, proved false or proved true, ended and died.  I felt completely uprooted and flat on my back.  Exposed to everyone, most of all me.  My life was no longer working as planned and I had lost control.  It was painful and scary but as I embraced change and discovery, beauty revealed itself.  It was NOT easy. And I didn't know where I'd end up. 

Hmmm, I wonder what will happen to this tree.  Will it be replanted?  Or used for mulch?   I'll keep an eye on it for sure!  But either way, this magnificent work of art will not go to waste.  And that's the approach I took about my own life.  Different than what I imagined and even prayed for, but a wonderful life all the same.  Eventually things turned around for me.  An ever evolving spiritual journey, contentment, adventure, stability, courage, humility and love all entered in a new way.  I think being uprooted and challenged to grow, think, question, learn and change was the best gift for me.  I've learned to flow and adjust, make my own choices and respect the choices of others, own my yes and no, forgive and let go, be ME regardless, be less judgemental of myself and others, pursue what I want for my life not what others want for me and be perfectly ok with my mistakes and my good.  Happy girl I am.  Not because my life is perfect, because it's not, but because I've realized it doesn't have to be.  I don't know everything nor do I have to.  I do what I can, remain positive and hopeful, embrace each day with  a YES.  I see mishaps, loss and failures as a natural part of life, not some punishment for sin or disobedience (as I was told).  None of us are immune to life and it's challenges regardless of your age, race, sex, religion, class etc.  Sometimes we just need to learn some stuff, grow up and get a backbone.  It's just life.  And this is my life, my story, my adventure and I'm the only one that has to be happy with it.  I own it.  I embrace it.  I love it!!