Uprooted

I spent quite a bit of time outside this weekend.  But was floored as soon as I walked through the gates of a park and was greeted by this beautiful scene...an uprooted tree.  Why beautiful?  Because it seemed to speak to me.  It spoke about me. I just stood there. Staring.  Thinking.  I wanted to sit in the grass and watch....until Honey (my dog) took a potty and I thought about all the other dogs that probably did the same.  Eeeeek!  So I stood. 

The tree was beautiful to me.  It reminded me of my own life over the past seven years.  Talk about uprooted.  Death, divorce, financial instability, religious upheaval, fear.  My heart was broken on so many levels. Everything that was foundational for me was questioned, examined, proved false or proved true, ended and died.  I felt completely uprooted and flat on my back.  Exposed to everyone, most of all me.  My life was no longer working as planned and I had lost control.  It was painful and scary but as I embraced change and discovery, beauty revealed itself.  It was NOT easy. And I didn't know where I'd end up. 

Hmmm, I wonder what will happen to this tree.  Will it be replanted?  Or used for mulch?   I'll keep an eye on it for sure!  But either way, this magnificent work of art will not go to waste.  And that's the approach I took about my own life.  Different than what I imagined and even prayed for, but a wonderful life all the same.  Eventually things turned around for me.  An ever evolving spiritual journey, contentment, adventure, stability, courage, humility and love all entered in a new way.  I think being uprooted and challenged to grow, think, question, learn and change was the best gift for me.  I've learned to flow and adjust, make my own choices and respect the choices of others, own my yes and no, forgive and let go, be ME regardless, be less judgemental of myself and others, pursue what I want for my life not what others want for me and be perfectly ok with my mistakes and my good.  Happy girl I am.  Not because my life is perfect, because it's not, but because I've realized it doesn't have to be.  I don't know everything nor do I have to.  I do what I can, remain positive and hopeful, embrace each day with  a YES.  I see mishaps, loss and failures as a natural part of life, not some punishment for sin or disobedience (as I was told).  None of us are immune to life and it's challenges regardless of your age, race, sex, religion, class etc.  Sometimes we just need to learn some stuff, grow up and get a backbone.  It's just life.  And this is my life, my story, my adventure and I'm the only one that has to be happy with it.  I own it.  I embrace it.  I love it!!