Hurry Up, I Don’t Have Time….for LIFE

“Only bad things happen quickly.”

I read that this morning in a treasure of a book titled Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Dr. Gordon Livingston. The quote rang true with me. When I look at the wonderful things in my life I can see the step by step process it took to get to those goods. Seeing and feeling the benefits of working out & healthy eating, the process of forgiving, building great relationships, saving money, gaining useful education, learning to trust myself and others, getting a new job, growing my hair out, growing strong healthy nails after wearing acrylic nails, house training my dog, changing bad habits and thinking; the list goes on and on and on. Each of these goods took patience, determination, fortitude, discipline, effort, a daily and often a minute by minute choice to stay on track.

However the unwanted things I’ve experienced in my life or the “bad” took only a moment like a misspoken word that led to hurting a friend, getting into frivolous debt (for shoes, a handbag, a trip, dinner with friends), breaking trust by making a bad decision, losing a job, death of a loved one, hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock setting my entire day back by 30 minutes. Short of a miracle, “only bad things happen quickly” but good and lasting things take time.

“It is obvious that any process directed at changing…our well-established patterns of thinking and behaving is going to be an extended one and will involve efforts at gaining insight, reevaluating habits, and trying new approaches.” – Dr. Livingston

More often than not we don’t see when our behaviors aren’t serving us well and even when we do, changing those behaviors is less than instant even when we really, really, really try. To require instant change of ourselves and others is to “discount the well-established power of habit and the slowness with which we translate new knowledge into behavior” says Dr. Livingston. Do you think life would be a more enjoyable journey if we accept this reality instead of fighting against the natural progression of things? I do.

Sometimes we look at others who are happy and successful and have some aspect of good that we want for ourselves and fail to see the effort it took for them to get there. We call them "lucky".  I don’t know any superhuman individuals so I’m willing to bet they put in the time and effort required to create change and success just as well.

Accept that desired change and growth requires we enter the slow cooker and not the microwave rush we often wish for. Knowing what we want, being honest with ourselves and others about where we are, recognizing the tools we have or don’t have needed to get to the new “us”, gaining education, practicing, making mistakes and trying again is all part of the process. So give yourself a break.....relax and simmer.