8-Pack of Crayons

Do you remember your first day of school? Your mom sent you on your way with a cardboard school supply box stashed with a 12” wooden ruler, a bottle of Elmer’s Glue (white), plastic grip scissors, two fat #2 pencils and a 8-pack of Crayola crayons just like the school list suggested just to get to class, sit down and look to your left and see your classmate has the massive 96-pack of crayons with tiered rows of like colors and a built-in sharpener! You turn and face forward and try with everything in you not to reveal your minuscule pack of primary colors. You think "There’s no way my refrigerator door art will be as colorful as hers".  Ok, maybe it was just me. 

Choices are made from your options and your options are as limited or as vast as your creativity. When you think “There’s nothing I can do. This is all I have.” Often what you may be revealing is “This is all I know.”

Choice Theory says that all humans have five basic needs: love & belonging, power, freedom, safety & survival and fun. Our choices are motivated by our attempts to get these needs met even though the level of value of each need may vary from person to person. And that’s perfectly ok. However, problems may occur when you only see one way to get your needs met i.e., a specific person, or job, or event. Although these needs must be met, it would make this life journey a bit more pleasant if you become creative about your options. Here’s an example of the needs, limited options and creativity:

I’m not implying that loving Ted is wrong or that wanting to be with Rebecca is a bad, but if Ted doesn’t love you or Rebecca doesn’t want to be with you then you might want to find new ways to meet your love & belonging needs. Perhaps they do love you and want to be with you but you are sucking the life out of them because you see them as your only source for love & belonging. Love & belonging is not limited to romantic relationships. Human beings need connection with other human beings so to limit the possibility of love & belonging existing only within a romantic relationship with “Ted” or “Rebecca” when we live on a planet of 7,061,963,388 people (as of November 18, 2010 at 9:07am….and counting), you might want to open up to creativity.

It’s ok to want a new job or a promotion at a particular company that you’ve given years of time and energy to, but if that isn’t happening for you then try applying at different companies, positions, or a new career path.  To base your success-o-meter  on what happens at company XYZ, Inc. is limiting and you might want to open up to creativity. (I just met a 68-year-old woman who has changed careers at least four times and is still thriving and enjoying life and learning.)

I understand in a very personal way the battle against family history illnesses so I’m not in any way belittling those fears. But what I am saying is to focus on sickness and giving up on change (although it is your choice to do so) won’t meet your survival & security need. Diet and exercise, mental and emotional stability and fostering hope can add a chance of a healthier, longer life and a perspective of not only surviving but LIVING. (As a friend told me last night “...life is for the living...”) FACT #1: We will all die. FACT #2: We can choose how to live.

Get where I’m going with this? Alabama is beautiful; I was born and raised there. But there’s a huge PLANET called Earth that has even more to experience. And while fun is relative (so party on!) if your relationships (or your wallet) is suffering because of continual partying and drinking but you can’t seem to imagine fun any other way then you might want to open up to creativity.

We must have our needs met but there’s no rule that says “how” we must meet them. We can choose to open our minds, rid them of the limitations and gain some new perspective. Become creative with your 8 pack of crayons; mixing colors, shading at times, pressing down hard at others. Besides there would be no color without the primary colors!! Go ahead….CREATE a GREAT LIFE!!!