When you wish upon a star....

I'm usually knocked out, sound asleep when flying for more than two hours. But on my flight home tonight I woke up. I lifted my window shade and gazed at the stars. So pretty, so peaceful. And then, for the first time in my life I saw a shooting star! I giggled. Then made a wish.

I wished that I can know love....the kind a person grows old with. The kind that fills the heart with contentment and connection and an assurance that your partner is there for you and with you and you, with every good you can muster up, give it back without request.

Then I thought about life and it's brevity, death and it's mystery. I prayed; for my parents, my brother, my nieces and nephews, my family, my lover and his family, my friends and their families. I prayed that I could somehow be a consistent expression of love, kindness, and connection to them. I asked for help to love and care for them well. I asked that my hugs, kisses, and speech demonstrate my appreciation for them.

And then I, like some super hero with telepathic abilities, tried to squeeze out energy while holding thoughts of them and gave away good, happiness, love, laughter, peace, success and comfort .

And then I cried...cuz I'm a complete waterhead, mushy, sap!

I wished on a star and I hope wishes come true.
I said a prayer, and I hope it was heard and answered.
I released positive energy and hope it reached them and was felt.

Surely, one of these will stick. In the meantime, I'll do the leg work!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

humanity...

What is Maturity?

 

jessicaleereynolds.wordpress.com



• Knowing myself.
• Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.
• Admitting when I'm wrong and making amends.
• Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself.
• Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
• Seeing that life is a blessing.
• Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
• Forgiving myself and others.
• Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
• Having the courage to live one day at a time.
• Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
• Caring for people without having to take care of them.
• Accepting that I'll never be finished -- I'll always be a work-in-progress.

 

 

(from Courage to Change: One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, page 63. Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA)

I AM NOT....

nothing to blog here....picture says it all...



from http://naturalhairteens.tumblr.com/



All Aboard!!




the prisoner, the robin, the officer (and birthday girl),
 the sundrop, the devilish

 

To celebrate one of my girlfriends’ birthday we took an Amtrak train ride from Birmingham, AL to New Orleans, LA for Halloween weekend.  Costumes in tow headed to Bourbon Street, we tore up the town. Well, we watched as others tore it up and jumped in every once and a while like double-dutch.  The entire trip took us about 36 hours (round trip).  I assumed it would be an amazing time of girlfriends chatting it up about boys and babies, painting our nails, giggles, fun, dancing, eating, very little sleep… (and it was!!).  But what I didn’t expect was to be so moved by seeing the south in such a moving way from my Amtrak window.  We boarded the train while being assisted on by a gentleman with his hand out as we stepped onto a small bright yellow stool onto the train.  I felt like such a lady.  “Make a right and take a seat anywhere…” we were instructed.  The seats were comfy, much larger than an airplane, they reclined with a mini lazy boy type extension and a foot rest.  The conductor came to our car and announced “Welcome aboard!”  I thought surely he could do that using an overhead speaker, I mean it is 2011.  But I grew to enjoy his announcements along the way.  He would explain that Amtrak has very little train tracks of its own and had to share with freight train tracks so we might be a little behind schedule.  (I couldn't help but think about Denzel Washington's movie Unstoppable...uh oh...).  He told us about the snack car, dining car, business center area, game areas and available restrooms.  

He also told us about the towns we’d pass through with a little history every now and then.   One of my favorites was Moundville, AL. Although we passed it too fast for me to snap a picture, I did get to see these huge beautiful mounds (ranging from three to 57 feet high) strategically place and sitting on top of the open fields like big green Legos. 

Moundville, AL

They seemed so out of place but very interesting.  The conductor said that they were sites of Indian villages and burial grounds.  I quickly jotted a few notes down so I could Google later.  Moundville was a very large population and a thriving city for its time.  The mounds were centers for religious and political activities.  But no one is quite sure how the use of these beautiful structures ended.  Geesh! I really wanna know what happened.

Meridian, MS

We also saw some very old train stations that seem to just pop up.  We’d slow down, pick up a passenger or two and then keep moving. It reminded of old movies where ladies wore tailored dresses and gloves, and men wore suits to travel in and sat on the train sipping tea or whiskey.  It was poetic.  Meridian, MS even had an old train as historic relic right near the station where we stopped for more passengers and a smoke break.

Tuscaloosa, AL was hard to witness.  We could still see the path of the tornados that recently hit the city that left trees uprooted and homes without roofs.  It was humbling and painful.  But in a matter of seconds we were back to beautiful views of fall foliage, small streams and ponds and sunshine. It was like a watching an old silent film leaving any description and conversation to our imagination. 

Finally, NOLA.  Homes on cinder blocks and cemeteries with graves above the ground, again another moment, time, terrain and people.  And even though Bourbon Street was all about celebrating and partying, again the mix of people, costumes, messages, languages and accents gave us all another opportunity to accept others, be free in our own choices but respecting the variety of thought and expression. This experience reminded of times changing, devastation and rebuilding, differences and similarities.  It’s all a part of life that we share and get to experience.  I was born and raised in the south but this train ride gave me the opportunity to see my home in a new light.  It also reminded me to be open-minded and look for beauty, good, lessons and inspiration in the familiar and the new.  Looking forward to my next Amtrak train ride…..

BE in the Moment



Full plate!! School is requiring a lot more from me this semester, work responsibilities have gone up several notches, time with family and friends are necessity but I’ve been exhausted!  I’m not complaining just stating the facts.  I’ve been so focused on “stuff” that I’ve missed a few moments, and where I use to find time to just BE, I’ve been sleeping.  So I’ve negated my meditation, reflection and the present.  I decided to take a yoga class on Sunday to help solidify my choice to rebalance and catch my breath.  I went to my usual yoga studio but there was a new instructor teaching the hot core power session I take.  She was kind and warm.  I liked her instantly.  Our session started with soft music, deep breaths and the Supta Baddha Konasana restorative pose.  It felt great to be back in class.  As I laid there in gratitude for life all I’ve been given I recognized the lyrics to the song playing overhead.

“Yes, God is real. (God is real)

He’s real in my soul. (He’s real in my soul)

For he has washed

And made me whole.

His love for me (His love for me)

Just like pure gold (Just like pure gold)”

I knew the words but it was being sung in a yoga chant-like rhythm with a drum and some stringed instrument.   But it was moving all the same as I recalled the song from childhood.  Tears started to well up in my eyes and my gratitude increased for this moment, space, and the gift of connectedness to something greater than ME.  Then the calm voice of my new instructor said “In today’s practice, let’s focus on the present.  Be here. Right now. And if you feel your mind start to wander, use the rhythm and sound of your deep breath to bring you back to NOW.  This moment is for you.”

I don’t think my Sunday could have been any better.  For me moments like this confirm my purpose and existence in this space in history. I was right where I need to be that afternoon, right where my tired soul longed to be….reminded of love, life, rest, connection, my power to BE in the moment and not let the responsibilities and distractions of life keep me from tending to my soul while enjoying this journey. 

Whatever you do to center and balance and restore, don't neglect it.  Take care of your whole self. Namaste.

It's Not That Hard To Be Happy

I use to subscribe to a "climbing up the rough side of the mountain" type of living.  Where everyday was a press, an act of faith to hold a little longer until some magical change would appear.  It seemed to make sense too especially since everybody around me pretty much shared the same view in some way.  As a matter of fact, as long as everybody was "pressing" we seemed ok.  But not anymore.

Acceptance of my human limitations, personal skills and abilities and the realities of life that we all are vulnerable to like falling in love and love lost, landing a great job or getting let go, a new born baby and death of loved one produced enormous change in my life. 

"No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings." - 1 Corinthians 10:13 International Standard Version

That verse from the bible is one that pops up from my church days and I love it.  Whenever I do experience something painful and it seems too much for me to handle I remind myself that it's not new. Maybe it's new for me but not new to the planet.  What's happening to me isn't some grand discovery that requires science to develop new research methods and theories to figure out.  Most of the time I can google, ask a friend or a doctor about it and it's all good.  Sure I might have to apply a little elbow grease and work hard and/or differently, some critical thinking to reshape how I interpret it and patience to get through it (sometimes a tear or two and a few expletives) but that's normal.  That's called LIFE, complete with change, maturity, resiliency; ya know, the basics. 

Not one single human being is immune to life and its challenges or its triumphs.  We all experience both.  I've learned to accept that, and some how life became easier.  It's easier to enjoy the moments I have because I was no longer battling against life but instead living life.  My focus turned from "struggling to make it and forcing joy" to starting my day with "What are the possibilities of today?  How will I grow? What will I learn?  How hard will I laugh?  Who can I make smile?"  And happiness just sort of happened.  Not because of things or people in particular but because of my perspective, interpretation and acceptance of what I could change and what I could not change. Now things and people are like icing on my happy cake!  Want a slice?

"...savor the moments of pleasure that our brief life contains. It is not denial but courage that allows us to do this.  That and an unwillingness to let the present moment be drained of joy by fear of the future or regret for the past." - Dr. Gordon Livingston from Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

How To Love by Dr. Gordon Livingston

In "How To Love", Dr. Gordon Livingston digs deep and challenges readers to assess their choices in how and whom to love, placing the responsibiltiy of succesful or failed relationships on the individual choosing to love.

It begins with "first deserve, then desire", a thought that requires each of us who wants to love to first be lovable.  It's an easy yet gut wrenching read when you realize that the immature, anxiety prone "jerk" in the relationship just might be YOU.  But it also comforts the broken-hearted while teaching the newly loving person that it's ok to love all the way.  By pointing out the less desireable personalities traits to avoid and the personality traits to look for when choosing whom we will love, loving well looks within reach.

You can skim through "How To Love" on Google Books.

My Favorite Birthday Present....

photo from genii-cupcakes.co.uk

I just celebrated a birthday and I couldn't really think of any tangible gifts I wanted (and that made sense in my practical mind) besides a popcorn popper and couple of things for my place; so I bought them myself.  I did however, plan brunch and a movie with a few girlfriends that turned out to be a super sweet, intimate and relaxing afternoon.

But while alone in my thoughts, I smiled because the best birthday present I experienced was HAPPINESS.  Happiness and Freedom.  I've written before about the pressure I use to feel to be what people, deep-rooted beliefs, and social expectations were requiring of me.  I never felt free to make my own choices based solely on what I wanted, to learn with an open mind, and to explore without fear.  Not sure I even thought it was an option.  As a matter of fact, I didn't know I wasn't free, I just knew I wasn't happy; waiting on some divine intervention to MAKE things better.  The past 10 years have been unbelievable (good and not so good), but the past year has been AMAZING!!  I admitted so many things to myself; defined my own ever evolving truths, desires, beliefs; no longer suppressed by what I was "suppose" to accept as truth, to want, to believe and to think.  I also became more confident in expressing my truths risking relationships with my family, friends and coworkers.  I didn't take on this challenge with a chip on my shoulder or to prove anything to anyone else.  I pushed myself so that I could see my choice in action.  I wanted a say in my life.  I wanted to see my life, my heart, my mind become peaceful, to see my intentional choices create what I want for myself.  And I've seen it happen.  To be happy.  To have great relationships.  To be financially stable.  To be intellectually stimulated.  To be physically strong.  To simply own my consequences and outcomes and to make adjustments as necessary and as I am ready to.  To exercise a confident resilency when on the down slopes of life and remain hopeful.  To constanly be aware that no one was gonna do what I needed to do for myself. It's not that any of this wasn't possible before, but I was stuck thinking there was only one way to live; waiting for a miracle.  The only miracle I've witnessed with results is the miracle of CHOICE and it is powerful.   

Sweet Potato Breakfast: 2 Way Experiment

I had a few sweet potatoes in the fridge and wanted to have some for breakfast. But I'd didn't want sweet potato pancakes nor baked sweet potatoes. So I tried a couple of things: Savory & Sweet!

Ingredients:
1 large peeled and grated sweet potato (only a portion shown here)
1 quarter grated red onion
1 grated Gala apple
Salt
Pepper
Cinnamon
Honey
Olive Oil



Savory:
Heated olive oil in a pan
Added half of the grated sweet potato and all of the red onion
Seasoned with salt and pepper
I sorta scrambled in the pan for a minute or so and then formed 3 patties, pressing with spatula.

After it cooked for about 3 minutes on one side I turned over for another 2 min.

Voila!! Done!!

And it was absolutely YUM!!!!!!!!

Sweet:
Heated olive oil in a pan
Added half of the grated sweet potato and all of the apple
Seasoned with cinnamon and honey
I scrambled in the pan for a minute until tender. (I couldn't get the patty shape to take because of the juice of the apple....I think.)

So I served it loosely scrambled. It was good but could have been better. Perhaps I'll try to bake the "Sweet" and add granola and raisins next time.

Score:
Sweet 2 Yums!!
Savory 5 Yums!!!!!