Open The Gates

Sometimes one of the most challenging things about choice power is owning your choices when things feel uncomfortable.  When a choice turns out the way you hoped then all is well with the world. But what about when you've had to make a choice based on your deepest values but the outcome isn't what you expected or hoped for.  Do you change your mind, do you go back on your decision, do you say "I was just playing"?

I want to point out a couple of thoughts to help us deal with this dilemma.  "For choice to flourish there must be follow through".  When changing your life and learning to make choices that support your change you will face some push back.  Push back from others but also push back from yourself.  You may start to question yourself, your judgment, and fear creeps in.  I look at it like working out or saving money.  You're building.  And the only way to build is to be patient, add it all up over time until you see the completed structure (or stronger muscles or a plump savings account). There's no way around patience and hard work.  "Things take as long as they take."

The other thought is that you can change.  Setting boundaries is vital to one's life.  It helps you identify what you want and says to others who you are.  Boundaries are beneficial in that the offer protection, guard rails, clarity.  As Dr. Henry Cloud illustrates, boundaries are like walls, guarding what gets in and what gets out.  But those walls can have gates, that open and close as you are ready.  Let's say you've set some boundaries for your spending and savings plan.  You're clear on your budget and that wall is in place.  But perhaps there's an organization you want to give to, hurricane victims for example, and giving would change your allotted savings amount for a month or two or however long you want to give.  Everything in your heart says to help.  What do you do?  Open the gate, let it out!

Remember choices and boundaries should be based on your deepest values and you are in control, the CEO of your life.  Boundaries aren't meant to be rigid and void of life and love.  You build them and you can change them.  When making choices for your life it's important to learn to trust yourself, allow for flexibility, educate yourself when needed and go for it!  It may cause discomfort temporarily but the rewards are well worth it.