I had lunch with one of my girlfriends yesterday and she was updating me on her family happenings. She and her hubby have recently made the decision to send their son to a private school to ensure his education was the best for his individual learning and assist him in getting over a few humps learning in his primary years. The tuition will cost them a pretty penny too, so they are making changes to their spending to fit it in. I sat there listening and thinking how much I admire her and her hub for the phenomenal job of parenting they do. I thought about the gift they were giving their child as they make sacrifices to ensure that he is equipped with the necessary tools for success in his education. Giving their son a chance at a thriving learning experience.
Lebenschancen, German for life chances, a concept introduced by German sociologist Max Weber to looks at the opportunities individuals have to improve their quality of life.
“The opportunities mean the extent to which one has access to resources, both tangible ones such as food, clothing and shelter, and intangible ones such as education and health care. Quality of life comprises the individual's ability to procure goods, have a career and obtain inner satisfaction; in other words, the ability to satisfy one's needs.” (Wikipedia)
These “resources” are related to the socialization-inherited norms, customs and ideologies we value pursue, relate to, understand people, places and things as a result of what we have been socialized to hold as priority. I wasn’t raised with education as an important factor. It was more important to be prepared for God’s wrath and Jesus’ return so more weight was on faith, spreading the gospel, giving to others, etc. It wasn’t until I chose what I wanted to be important to me (by way of new socialization – new surroundings, opportunities, mentors, experience, and personal needs) that education, among other things, became a priority.
I don’t have any children, so I will not pretend to think I know what it's like. But what I do have are my memories of childhood to reflect on. I have always imagined that if I did have kids I would hope to prepare them for life in the best way I know how, as do most parents. I have felt that I’m not ready to raise kids and opted not to have any yet. (I know...you’re never ready right?) I assume there are sacrifices and lifestyle changes that must be made with the child in mind until they are adults and on their own. Life chances. I love this term, a chance to have a LIFE. Are we giving children the optimum life chances? Are we teaching the value of education, communication skills, resiliency, decision-making, financial acumen, community activism or better yet to be their best SELF and not our clones? Are we teaching them to be self efficient thinkers that can make great choices for their lives? Or are we demanding that they be who we want them to be? Are we just surviving teaching our kids to survive but not thrive? Is that what we were taught? Is that the extent to what socialization has taught us?
Even as adults, who are free to make our own decisions, are we evaluating our values through the eyes of adulthood or just robotically living out what we were taught? I know adult kids, including myself, who at times struggle with making adult decisions in fear of what parents and extended family, friends etc will think. We don’t want to hurt our loved ones but are we simultaneously hurting ourselves when we hide and smother our personal values and desires? I would never even imagine trading what I learned from my family about being a person of hope, giving, honesty, love and family but there are things that I’ve have decided are not as important to me as they were to my parents. I have equally learned new things that are important to me that I never knew about before gaining my own life experiences.
As adults: Are we using our power to choose to increase our life chances?
As adults reflecting on our childhood: Are we equipping children in our care with the best we have to offer and allowing them to use their power to choose to be the best at what they want?
As adults with adult children: Are we accepting our children as they make their own choices and explore opportunities for life chances?
Just a few thoughts...
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