Hope:
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; a particular instance of this feeling ; grounds for this feeling in a particular instance; a person or thing in which expectations are centered; to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
Speaking from my personal experiences with hope I use to think it came from an outside force. I read and clung to as truth; bible verses, and lived my life based on those words regardless of what my reality was. I was taught from an early age and even into adulthood that this was how hope worked. I confess, that way of living has cost me a lot of time, money, stress and heartbreak and I would do it over and over and over again, still hoping. (Quite silly actually. Isn't that called insanity? Eeek!) What I’ve since learned, after realizing what didn't work, is that my hope must be based on something tangible. No matter how much I desire something I must have, as the dictionary defines hope, “grounds for this feeling” or “to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence”. Otherwise it’s false, for me anyway. Here are a few examples of how I see false hope in contrast to real hope:
At the end of the day we all “hope” for good in our lives. I believe it’s a great feeling to carry in one’s soul. Hope gives us that little nudge saying that it will be ok, don’t give up. Feelings of “hope can give you peace of mind, relieve stress, and provide you the positive outlook and motivation that can lead to helpful actions”. (1) Even when things look bleak and unchanging, we can base our hope in the fact that things have changed before and they can change again. Now all we have to do is TAKE ACTION.
“Maintain hope when there is some possibility of a good outcome. Take constructive and responsible action to improve your chances. Do not abdicate your responsibility for caution, skepticism, and action by submitting to unfounded optimism. Hope is helpful when it results in positive action, it is unhelpful if it inhibits action.”(1)
“Hope is tested when what if meets what is. Accurate assessment, sound judgment, constructive action, and personal responsibility mark the difference between real hope and false hope.”(1)
I saw myself get hung up on hoping for specific situations to work out the way I wanted, or people to change into what I hoped they could be or even what I could be. What a realistic view of hope has given me is the ability to hope BIGGER but realistically. Meaning, MY LIFE is ok even if this situation isn’t. MY LIFE is not over because this relationship or job is. MY LIFE is amazing because I accept who I am and who people are instead of spinning my wheels trying to control everything.
“Real hope combines a hopeful outlook with a firm grip on reality.” (1)
I don’t believe in magic. I do believe in miracles and welcome them into my life; however, I’d rather never need one. Especially when I’ve already been given life, mobility, a brain, education, family, friends, work, real hope, faith and a multitude of other resources to help me learn from my mistakes and make better choices in the future.
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Quotes
(1) Emotional Competency - Leland R. Beaumont
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